Adoption How To:
1. Try to join a support group in your area.
2. Consider an agency or foster care/foster adopt.
3. Interview adoption lawyers.
4. Interview social workers.
5. Referrals for any of the above are always helpful.
6. Do not be intimidated by the process, don’t give up!
How we did it:
1. Joined Wannabe dads/moms.
2. Got social worker referral through group (she was one of the guest speakers).
3. Got lawyer referral from social worker.
4. Got adoption adviser referral through lawyer.
5. Took paperwork 1 step at a time, talk to people, network. One day at a time is how it worked for us, and it worked very well!
6. Most people I know have had great success. JUST DO IT!
We used a different social worker for our follow-up visit after the baby was placed with us, I got her from the NYC JCAA, http://www.jccany.org/. You need a social worker before the adoption and after the placement (before the finalization) and I recommend them. They are non-denominational and they were very reasonable.
The lawyer I retained was Stephen Lewin, a NYC adoption lawyer. He was down to earth and very practical. There are some scams out there and when I got too excited, he kept me grounded: I recommend him. I felt the charge I received when it was all over was more than fair. How may times do you hear that in relation to lawyers! Of course I am cheap and tried very hard not to bother him with a lot of stuff, extra phone calls will inflate your bill, that is a very expensive way to get your handheld, have a friend do that for you!
It took two years from when we first joined Wannabe Dads/Moms to adopt our baby. We proceeded very slowly. I took over six months to complete our home-study with the first social worker. We started working with the adoption consultant in September, and again moved slowly. She guided us regarding adoption ad placements across the country which started April 1. We were in the delivery room with our new baby boy before the end of the next month!