Note: I believe prayer is a way to practice spirituality, peace for yourself, a meditative feeling. I do not believe you need to call someone God to do this, and I do not believe you need a religion to dictate how to talk to whatever higher power you choose.
Background:
I was born and raised Jewish. I went to Hebrew school from an early age and when I moved upstate at the age of 10, my new Rabbi was far more religious than my family was. This ultra orthodox Rabbi instilled in me his beliefs, which did not match how I was being raised. This was damaging to me and some vestiges of this religious abuse stays with me today.
Adult Age Crisis:
I was unhappy. I finally accepted that I was gay at the same time that AIDS became a crisis. Instead of “dating” I chose to drink to stay alive. That turned out so well that I developed a drinking problem, which was only deadly if it hadn’t stopped.
Sobriety at age 30:
Turns out I did not know how to live one day at a time. Everything in my life was an insurmountable mountain, so better to give up immediately than to fail at an impossible task. Then I learned how to live, through the 12 steps of recovery, and in fact see them as a game plan for everyone to use if they are interested. One example of how I became successful in learning how to get over insurmountable situations was the adoption of our infant son at the age of 44. We were not rich, we had to move, there was too much paperwork, how could we ever accomplish this goal? Well, one step at a time and with a lot of prayer, it actually happened.
How to Pray:
Just start talking. To whom? It doesn’t matter. I told a fellow sober person that I use “God” as a nickname for my higher power. That is my individual choice. But you do not have to, you can pray to anything you want. Just start talking.
Who am I praying to? I don’t know. And I don’t care. And it doesn’t matter.
Is your higher power sitting on a throne in heaven? Maybe. Is your higher power in the air around you? Could be. Is Mother Nature your higher power? That would be a good choice.
I believe my higher power is also in me. When I pray, I believe I am also solidifying my resolve to do certain things. Work harder, show up for my life better, and especially, develop good instincts.
Tangible Proof:
There is none, and there is some. That depends on you and what you recognize, and what you acknowledge.
When our son was born, the birth mom told the hospital that we were adopting him and they treated us like the birth parents. It was amazing, even though she had three days to sign away her parental rights, because in theory we were not his parents. That was just the kindness of the people in the hospital, or maybe even their procedures in adoption cases. And then we had a “sign” from God. While the infant was being checked out all morning, as they do with newborns, we went shopping for the items we would need to take care of the child. When we returned to the hospital that afternoon, a nurse that we did not know, was holding the baby. His official name at the time was Baby Boy Xxxx (for privacy’s sake I am not typing the birth mother’s last name). The nurse did not know us or our names. She was calling the baby Peter. That makes no sense. Why would you call the child by any name when the child was not assigned one? We were in the far southwestern area of the United States and this was not a common name. Well, my husbands name is Peter. He was nervous that the birth mother wouldn’t sign the papers, but I saw this as a “Hello” from my higher power and the message was, this is your baby, no need to worry. I had faith.
Fast forward to now when this baby is about to turn 14 and getting into all kinds of teenage trouble. I have been praying daily to be a good parent, and for guidance with my child. Is it God? Is it a higher force? Or is it my increased instincts from this prayer to myself that enables me to have a keener sense of what is going on? Or is it dumb luck that I have been able to look on my son’s phone and find some serious issues that I have been able to guide him through?
I believe that the fact that I pray has helped me to be able to be a better parent. I can’t pray for my son to behave or to be perfect, but I can pray for daily help which manifests itself in my sharper instincts to question him when he seems to be making up a story, or to find something on his phone that he generally knows he can delete before I see it, and yet hasn’t, and then I have some extra knowledge to guide him out of a potentially bad situation. This happens regularly.
After thoughts:
Now you know how to pray. All you do is talk. Ask for help, ask for guidance, you can even ask for money! I don’t know who you are praying to, I don’t know exactly who I am praying to. And while I have not received a surprise lottery check in the mail, I believe that if I pray for more money, then perhaps I may do a little more work that will lead me to more money. I believe in faith, and more importantly I believe that you have to back it up with WORK!
On the simplest level I am praying to myself. The result can be that I take more actions in my life. That is one way prayer helps.
On a higher level, praying can help you to have faith that there are things that you cannot control, and you can feel that everything will work out. It may not, but you will have the ability to handle whatever comes your way. Some achieve inner peace this way. God doesn’t give them this inner peace, they work for it by living the right way, and by having faith that things will work out for the best. God doesn’t make you happy, but you can ask the Universe to help you to learn what actions to take to become happier. The Universe will not send you an email with those instructions, but I believe that your inner thoughts my be affected in a positive way by these prayers, you may take more positive actions in your life, and you may be able to feel more happiness because of the work you have resolved to do by praying for your own inner strength.
I can’t tell you exactly how prayer works, I cannot say that I have the greatest life imaginable, but I can say that I have seen instances where I have gotten some knowledge seep into my brain that has helped me when I needed it. Of course it is not enough, it doesn’t happen as much as I want, and we are still struggling. It is a work in progress that takes daily practice.
I pray the way I feel it can not hurt. Only Help