Peter and I met on April 12, 1992. We had our 2nd date 2 days later.
2 weeks later we were walking around town and in a toy store in SOHO, NYC and he said to me, the saddest thing to him about being gay was that he could not have kids. I told him that was nonsense, I fully expected to adopt a child someday. I knew that the first minute I laid eyes on my first nephew a few years earlier. I thought if my little brother could do this, then so could I. Because similar to Peter, I also wanted to be a parent.
There is a joke, “What does a lesbian bring on a second date? A U-Haul.” I guess that means lesbians fall in love quick and move in together quickly. Well then, Peter and I behaved like lesbians! We knew we were meant to be, after the first weekend that we knew each other, he stayed over every single weekend after that. August 17, 1992, Peter moved in. We were in love and I wanted him to split the rent!
We started planning our life together. Working, law school, moving. We were on the road to having a kid!
And then in May, 2003, Paul was born and we were dads! The happiest day of our lives!
And then gay marriage became legal in New York State! We went to the rabbi’s office and signed the papers that we had gotten at the city court house, and we were married. Our 9 year old son was our best man. But we were only married in NYState.
2 years later, last year, the Supreme Court ruled, 5-4, that our marriage was legal on the Federal level. I cried. Not because we were now getting me as a tax deduction (OK, maybe that was there a little), but because my country, the United States of America, was recognizing my marriage, my love, my life.
Now here is where it got a little sticky. When Peter moved in 23 years ago, that was marriage in my eyes. I did not ask him to move in as a roommate, I asked him to move in forever. That is how serious I take moving in together. It is not an experiment, it is a life long commitment. So the piece of paper we signed three years ago did not have a lot of meaning for me, we had already been married, in my heart, for 20 years. I mean, we had an adopted at birth child that we were raising as a family, if that isn’t a full marriage, then I don’t know what more of a commitment is needed.
I did feel a difference in my heart when the federal government recognized our Union. I never thought that was something that could happen in my lifetime. And, I felt it made our family a little more legitimate for our son.
And now Gay Marriage is the Law of the Land! What a glorious day! We are truly and fully married today, June 26, 2015! All I ever wanted was for our marriage to be as recognized, in America, the same as everyone else’s. The same as our parents marriage, two couples who have stayed married over 50 plus years. Because that is the example we have before us, and that is the goal we have as a married couple, till death do us part, in our eyes, in Gd’s eyes, and now in our countries eyes.
Congratulations!!
I love this my friend! This is such a happy day for all of us!
Thanks for sharing this story. Congratulations again! You guys are an inspiration.
Congratulations you two
Congrats! So happy for you!
Loved reading every part of this story. What an amazing day!! 🙂
A very sincere congratulations! You know, you don’t have to use the term gay marriage anymore. There’s no difference…it’s just marriage now…all equal. Wishing you guys many, many more happy years together.
I am happy you were assertive enough to introduce yourself to me at the gym because it has been my pleasure getting to know you and Peter. And that our kids have grown up together.
Congratulations! I am so happy for you and everyone who has had their marriages validated and for those who finally will get to marry in their own state!
A big congrats to both of you!! May your lives be filled with much happiness, joy and tons of love!!
I know I already told you via facebook BUT this is just the best news EVER!! So I wanted to say congrats another time!!! So CONGRATS to you both and your son 🙂 <3
Congratulations to the both of you!! This is amazing!!
Congratulations. It must be a dream come true to be married. Reading this made my day.
Congratulations and best wishes on the next 20 years
You wrote you knew you were in for a committed relationship from the beginning , I have watch 100’s of couples get married and yet not be committed . I feel in my heart that’s all you need – I have see gay and straight couples live together in beautiful relationships , I have seen marriages fall apart after a week and also after 40 years ! Be kind , be loving it’s a tough job but it is a job! A simple piece of paper doesn’t do an iota of good when Both partners are not giving their fullest effort ! Everyday do something to make your spouse understand how special they are to you ! You didn’t need that paper …. You already had the REAL thing ( true love ) .
Congrats! This may be my favorite thing that you have ever put on your blog! Love will always win!
I’m so happy for you all – mega congrats!
I am so happy for you…it is about time our country caught up with this, love is love!
I love hearing the story of how you met! In my eyes, you were always meant to be because whenever you talk about Peter or I see you two together, it’s a forever kind of together. Congratulations, my friend! I am so thrilled for you and Peter! Love does rule!
This is wonderful! Yesterday was a fantastic day indeed!
What a great story! Congrats to you both!
Hoooray! Congrats! This is an amazing, wonderful thing-years too late, but Hoooray anyway!
Congratulations and many more happy years together 🙂
The World is so Blessed to have you, Congratulations!
Congratulations! Wonderful news, amazing story- I love it!
Congratulations! It is sad that for so long the government saw fit to say who could and could not commit their lives to another consenting adult. Your family is just lovely, and I’m glad your marriage gets the recognition it deserves!
Congratulations. I wish you and your family the very best. God Bless