This is the type of post that gets some people in an uproar. Because they think I am a man, I can’t be a mother.
Well, if you go by the definition of what a mother actually does, or at the very least everyone’s perception of what a mother’s duties are, I fit the bill.
In most cases, but certainly not all, the mother is the front line nurturer. These days there are many stay at home dads and single dads who are also front line nurturers, so they may know where I am headed. There are also many Dads who are very involved with their kids, more than in the “olden” days. I find dad bloggers to be part of that sphere, more involved than the “typical” dad of today or yesterday.
So first lets talk about the typical dad of today, and perhaps this is the typical mother who works and supports the household as well. They go to work, support the family financially, and then they come home and do very little in the household. I am in a gay marriage and we are almost what some view as a typical straight marriage. My spouse works and supports us and I do everything else. Getting him to help with the dishes, put the kid to bed once or twice a month, these tasks took a lot of needling to get him to participate. He goes to work, comes home, and does almost nothing else. I CHOOSE to support that behavior, not because he pays for almost everything, but because he works very hard to take care of his family.
So, as I said, I do everything else. Everything.. I am responsible for the home. Feeding, cooking, cleaning, homework, everything. I take care of the little guy and the big guy. And isn’t that the definition of Mom? The one who does everything for the family?
And don’t get into the giving birth definition, that only makes a birth mom. My son has one of those, but that is far different from being a mother. And I know plenty of moms who came to that title by adoption, so they are similar to me in that no one in their household gave birth.
So, in this house, I am in the role of “Mom.” I provide the unconditional love that supports our child, and I do everything in the home to make life flow as smoothly as possible. I am not looking for cards, candy, or recognition. I am just sharing this with everyone so you know how our same sex parent family works.
Happy Mother’s Day to everyone!
Disclosure: When I say I clean, I do, but we usually have a cleaning lady come in once every 2 weeks. I just don’t understand how “dusting” works.