Adoption How To:
1. Try to join a support group in your area.
2. Consider an agency or foster care/foster adopt.
3. Interview adoption lawyers.
4. Interview social workers.
5. Referrals for any of the above is always helpful.
6. Do not be intimidated by the process, don’t give up!
How we did it:
1. Joined Wannabe dads/moms.
2. Got social worker referral through group.
3. Got lawyer referral from social worker.
4. Got adoption adviser through lawyer.
5. Take paperwork 1 step at a time, talk to people, network.
6. Most people I know have had great success.JUST DO IT!
We used a social worker for our follow-up visit after the baby was placed with us, I got her from the NYC JCAA, http://www.jccany.org/. You need a social worker before the adoption and after the placement (before the finalization) and I recommend them They are non-denominational, a non-Jewish couple in Staten Island used them, there are no special requirements needed on your part, they can do both and they were very reasonable.
The lawyer I retained was Stephen Lewin, a NYC adoption lawyer. He was down to earth and very practical. There are some scams out there and when I got too excited, he kept me grounded: I recommend him. I felt the charge I received when it was all over was more than fair. How may times do you hear that in relation to lawyers! Of course I am cheap and tried very hard not to bother him with a lot of stuff, extra phone calls will inflate your bill, that is a very expensive way to get your handheld, have a friend do that for you!
My husband and I have adopted two children–one girl as an infant and one teenager. I can honestly tell you that we did almost everything wrong with our first adoption. For starters, our adoption wasn’t planned at all. We blindly went through the process, but man did we learn a lot. The second adoption was so much easier. The best part was that our teenager was of legal age, so no social workers, no state interference, no home studies, nothing like that at all. Of course, we are parenting a child who was raised by others, so that presents its own set of challenges.
Anyway, the information you posted is valuable to any and all potential parents.
Those are some great tips. You make it seem even more awesome!
There is a lot of great information in here. I really didn’t have much of an idea about how adoption worked, so this answered a lot of the questions that I had.
I have always viewed adoption as a beautiful thing. I have been told it is a long process but totally worth it in the end. Anything worth having it worth waiting for! Great tips 🙂
I am sure this information will be very helpful to those going through, or thinking about adoption. It is nice to hear from those that have… been there done that.
I know it can be a long and difficult experience. These are some great tips!
Before we had our two boys, my husband and I had discussed adoption. It’s good to have a checklist like this – makes the process easier, I’m sure!
What an informative blog post. Thanks for sharing!
These are such great tips for any family wanting to adopt. I especially like the “Don’t give up” tip. Encouragement always helps, especially from someone who’s been through it.
I am always touched by adoption stories. The selfless act of taking in a child without a home to me is a great statement of love and kindness. These are great tips for families wanting to adopt. The process can be so grueling, I am sure families like these can use all the help they can get to navigate this process
Adoption must be such a daunting process. When you spell it all out with tips like this – it seems like a very doable thing! The tip about using your friends for the handholding, instead of the paid lawyer is great 😉
Adoption is such a wonderful thing, and something I have considered myself. This is such an informative post!
As an “adoptee” first let me say- “Thank you for caring!”. Adoption is a hard process for both parents and children. Especially the children in the system. They get tossed from home to home to home, and when they turn into teens, all of a sudden no one wants them. I often wonder why more people don’t adopt here instead of overseas. There are so many children that want homes! Thanks for the checklist. Maybe it will prompt more US based adoptions!
Lots of great advice! A good friend of mine has adopted twice and it definitely is a long and overwhelming process so any tips for new adopters is great.
These are great tips! I’m sure it must be daunting to start the whole adoption procedure.
I think adoption is an amazing thing! To choose to have a child is such a powerful decision.
I’m willing to bet that being patient can be difficult at times, when it’s something like that that you want so much.
I think adoption is truly a blessing. I am still open to helping a child in need once my kids get a little older.
Having someone in your corner that is realistic and helps keep you grounded is definitely a good thing. It is so easy to get hopes up too easily.
That’s a pretty organized sequence of how to do it and how to get recommendations. Great advice!
I don’t have any personal experiences with adoption. I never knew how it worked. Although, now that I think of it, my friend is in the middle of an international adoption. What a process! It’s all worth it though. 🙂
My aunt and uncle adopted and got twin boys. Best thing that happened to our family. They are such a huge blessing from God, and it’s amazing how much they act and look like our family- it was meant to be! I’d love to adopt someday!
It is nice to hear a positive story in the blog world about adoption. I hear so many negative stories about the difficulty or an adoption falling through, that it breaks my heart. I am so glad you were able to adopt without a problem!
I know the process is extensive!! My nephew has adopted a couple of kids and they’re so happy!
Keeping organized for this BIG undertaking is key! I’m adopted too, so I totally appreciate all of the effort by my own parents
We are waiting on our license to be approved for Fostering/adopting! It is an exciting process. But there is so much to learn. Good tips.
These are good tips! Adoption can be such a confusing process – add in the emotional roller coaster, and it gets even messier. But it is SUCH a beautiful gift for all involved! I am so thrilled that you had a smooth process and that you are sharing your advice with those of us that need guidance.
Before becoming a parent, I thought about adopting. But I wasn’t sure what to do and where to start. Thanks for sharing your stories and steps to encourage other want to be adoptive parents to just start the process instead of waiting to “see”.
The first time I learned phone calls cost money, I was not overly impressed. 😉
I’m glad you had a happy ending, and found a lawyer you can recommend (I’m 43 and still haven’t found one I would recommend).
I’m so glad you had good luck! Adoption is such an awesome thing!! I admit I’m not sure I would know where to start in the process!
I will share this post with my brother-in-law & sister-in-law. They are getting ready to do what they do to do to start the adoption process, and I know they are really nervous. This will be some great info to share with them!
The process of adoption can be such a daunting process for those first looking into it. Breaking it down into smaller steps AND getting support from peers helps make it seem more manageable.
This is such a great and informative post. I have really been thinking a lot about adoption lately, thanks so much for this post.
Thanks for the tips- I have a friend that is going through this process. And I will pass these adoption tips along.
Joining a support group is definitely important. I know a family that had a great adoption process but another that has been struggling. Their support group is such a blessing to them and is such a strong source of encouragement right now
We adopted our daughter from Korea when she was just 6 weeks old. It took a lot of time, money, patience and love but it was so worth it all!! She is now a wonderful married woman, accomplished musician and totally great person. And today I am babysitting her infant son!