I have tried to raise my son with a fair amount of physical affection as I feel that is important and don’t remember much of it from my own childhood. He just passed his 10th birthday, he is almost 5 feet tall, and a bit of a tough guy. So when he holds my hand, I feel like I am accomplishing some of my goals as a parent. I want him to feel secure, I want him to know I am there for him, and I want him to feel protected. I can usually get him to still hold my hand when we are crossing the street, and then he usually doesn’t let go once we have made it across. That’s the protect him part.
Now, there is less of a hand holding, and more of him holding onto to my arm. Again, the physical contact is still there, the closeness that I want for our relationship. And, it reminds me of all the men and women in Italy that I have seen on my travels, who after the evening meal, do the nightly “passeggiare,” or strolling through the streets of their gorgeous towns, to walk off dinner!
I am the dad. I want my son to know I am his rock. I write this for him to read someday, I don’t want him to know my thoughts now, I don’t want to make him self conscious. He is my pride and joy, my life’s work. I am trying very hard to raise him to be a good man, a strong citizen, and secure within himself. Not so easy a task in today’s world.
And again, he is 10. How many more years, or even months, do I have with this closeness? I am greedy and possibly in denial, but I want it forever. And if it does stop one day, I want him to live through the teenage years knowing that his dad is there for him, and I want him to know this deep in his heart. I want a lot don’t I?
As a teenager, I will no longer be walking him through the streets. Some kids already self dismiss from school, already walk around by themselves. Some have to, some have older siblings and get to do things sooner than kids from 1 child families. I guess I want him to feel I am there for him, next to him, even when I am not with him. Because I do worry about the future: I am thinking, planning, and projecting ahead to the days when my son is confronted with sex, drugs, smoking, alcohol, and the biggest demon of all, Rock and Roll. I am trying to prep him to protect himself now!
Emily says
I love this post! I have a son, too, and worry about whether or not I am making him feel secure. He’s going on four, and I believe that physical contact is so important. I’m happy to hear that at nearly 10, your son is still close to you. There are many children who remain close to their parents, even through those trying teen years. I was with my parents, and hope the same for my son – and for you and your son!
Sounds like you’re doing a fabulous job parenting!
Danielle says
My kids are both very affectionate at 4 and 2. I couldn’t imagine losing that right now so I try and hold onto it as much as possible. I love hand holding. Such a great way to hold on that level of comfort and connection.
Myrah - Coupon Mamacita says
It’s part of bonding. MY daughter is almost 16 and she still holds my hands many times, of course now she says it’s because I am getting old! She doesn’t want me to trip on anything! lol
Cinny says
Awww, how sweet, Mitch! I’m sure he knows you’re there for him.
Kuleen at TheDisneyKids.com says
My 13 year old son is a foot taller than me, and there are still times when he will hold my hand and play with my fingers like he did when he was little. I enjoy every second of it 😉
Janel says
My 2 year old is always giving hugs and kisses
mel says
My kids are 2 and 4 and I hope the hand holding lasts a very long time, although I know the day will come!
Jennifer Medeiros says
I will hate the day when my kids start wanting to me more “independent” and less affectionate, but I know that it will be coming with time!
Angela says
Your son is fortunate to have a loving, caring, and involved father!
Ashley says
LOVE this post! My son is almost 7 and its hard seeing him grow up and not wanting me all the time.
Katharina says
What a great job you’re doing with your son! I so well remember this… these feelings with my daughter and I was always so glad that she hadn’t been embarrassed to want to hold my hand or arm with things like crossing streets when she was around 9 or 10. I had the same fear about wondering when she wouldn’t want to do that any longer.
I don’t remember ever holding my mom’s hand (although she’s always been an excellent mom and still is!) and I wanted that to be different for my daughter. Fortunately it worked out that way.
Sarah L says
I am a great believer in the power of HUGS! Everyone needs at least a couple of hugs a day. Keep up the good work with your son.
Jeane c says
Life is good. It’s important to let your kids know that you are there for them.. and be a part of their lives..whether they are 5 or 10 or 30. Sounds like you have a good “father” head on your shoulders, Mitch. Good job!