Take Control!
My son’s 1st grade teacher was a slow talker. In NYC, you have 10 minutes 3x a year for these conferences. The absurdity of that time limit is not for discussion, it was decided by folks far higher up than my school’s administration! That’s how I know, 10 minutes and a slow talker are a horrific combination!
My training for these conferences came in Kindergarten. I looked for tips online before I engaged in my first conference, I knew I could not go in blind with the teacher we had, a real ball buster so to speak. It was suggested on these online sites to have your information at the ready. I had questions and concerns in writing on a piece of paper and a pen at the ready. My teacher was prepared, she looked at the clock every 2 minutes as if it were a stop watch. Together we beat the clock!
So lets return to the slow talker. I gave her 1 minute and then stopped her. I let her know she had 5 minutes to talk at which point I would take my 5 minutes. I let her know there was no time for dilly dallying, after all wasn’t she on a strict schedule as well? 20+ 10 minute slots, if you add 5 minutes extra to even half of them, you are going to be almost an hour late, and by then the school is closing.
Don’t beat around the bush, tell me quickly what you have to say. I will then ask you my questions and I will not let the teacher talk in theoretics or in time consuming fashion, there simply is not enough time for that, and again, that set of rules comes from folks higher up than my Principal.
It’s tough, but you have to take control so you get your needs met. I meet too many parents who walk out of these meetings in a daze with many unanswered questions – that is not my case because I don’t let myself get set-up! I walked in this year with a set of questions re the report card that I received the night before and I proceeded to ask the teacher to give me quick answers to each concern. She did and it went smoothly. I keep my cell phone clock on the desk and check to make sure we are on schedule. I know I don’t like it when I am kept outside the room waiting almost 20 extra minutes because the teacher cannot keep a handle on the time. We lingered over 1 subject, but the bottom line is, you have 10 minutes to get in and out, there is no time for niceties if you want the information on your child’s progress. That is my bottom line, this is a very controlled business situation. And my school is very generous outside of these meetings, my teacher is always available in the mornings for almost 20 minutes at a time if I need to meet for a longer period, you just cannot expect that at the parent teacher conference!
If you really want to make efficient use of time you should also 1. Familiarize yourself with the grade level standards (which you should do anyway) and 2. Email your teacher a list of questions that are important to you beforehand. When I was a teacher in conferences, I always asked the parents what things were most important to them…and sent home lists of questions etc before conference day.
I had a parent teacher conference where the teacher talked for 3 minutes. Said everything she needed to about my daughter. I said 1 or 2 things I wanted to say. She closed the folder at the 5 minute mark and then there was an awkward silence. After which I left. Shortest teacher conference ever. On the plus side there wasn’t really much to say as she was doing well. But if I had had an issue as in other years with my kids I would have been ticked at the closing of the folder tactic.
Try having a kid with special needs and getting 10 minutes…you’re lucky you can get 20 mins in the AM…I only get 15 after begging in lieu of a p/t and no matter how prepared I am they talk around the questions without answering them and refuse to follow up. Totally frustrating…hopefully next year better teacher communications
What I want to know is when one of my son’s teachers is going to say something different. Same stuff, same grade, same kid. Teacher after teacher, conference after conference. Do we need to take their time? I guess so. Helps to show up.
Honestly, I was a parent in the NYC school system for 14 years and I can relate to everything you say. It actually gets worse in the middle and high school where you have multiple teachers to visit. On the other hand I have been a teacher in the school systems for over 30 years. I find the time limit as frustrating as I did as a parent. I love to talk about your child. The first thing I do is ask the parent for contact info and I will call or make an appointment for a time when there is no pressure . If you aren’t satisfied with the time you get don’t settle -ask the teacher when you can speak with him/her at length.
LOL. Very well put. I wish I had the presence of mind to do that when mine was still in school.
Great advice for all moms who are impatient to talk with this teacher 🙂