My spouse and I were both brought up in homes where religion was important.He is Italian Catholic and I am Jewish, so there would be some issues down the road once we had our child.
I am in charge in this household (well, I do everything after all!) so I had the ritual circumcision set up before our son was born. And how convenient, the “moyel” was also a pediatrician. I don’t take no chances!
I knew this first part of entry into the Jewish religion would not be an issue for my spouse, and my folks flew out from NY to Arizona for this, no way was he going to fight the 3 of us! This is a super important tradition in the Jewish religion. And wouldn’t you know it, my mom was the only one who didn’t cry!
My spouse made it clear a Christening was very important to him. So at the 3 month mark, we had that as well. He had to interview with the Priest at the church he attended 2 blocks from our house. The Priest agreed to do the Christening, I do not know if he ever had this situation before.
My spouse had all his siblings be godparents so I did the same! My son has 6 godparents. I thought that was silly in case we were going to have another kid, but alas, my eggs have since dried up! It all works out.
I could tell from the Priest’s behavior that he was surprised when we all showed up in suits. Maybe it was his first christening of a child of gay parents, but he found out we really are normal and so are our families! And of course all my in-laws knew how this thing worked, they were practicing Catholics. I am sure that impressed the Priest as well.
And no, I did not agree to the christening just to get checks out of my in-laws! That was just a happy by-product!
My brothers first wife never converted to Judaism as she had promised, so my brother had to take the steps of convert his first son. I am grateful for that, otherwise I would not have known all the steps I would need to take. There is a ritual dipping in water called a “mikvah.” (Let me just point out that I forgot what that was called and I asked my spouse who of course knew right away.) At 11 months old I had set this all up with a Rabbi from a synagogue a few blocks away. My folks again came for this ritual.
My job was part time until I lost it when my son was 2 1/2 years old. I then took over the responsibility for his religious training. I took him to various holiday celebrations at the synagogue on the corner.
When it came time for a Hebrew education I ended up at the synagogue that the Rabbi from the “mikvah” came from. The timing of this extra schooling was important, I knew I had to make it amenable to my spouse. The synagogue on the corner had classes Sunday mornings form 9-12. That would be too much for a 5 year old and interfere with our weekly trips to the in-laws.
So, for the last 4 years my son has attended Hebrew school down the block from his public school. 4 other children from his grade are in his class. This is just one more thing that adds to our sense of community in NYC. And my spouse, who grew up with so many Jewish kids (including my cousin who he met in High School, 10 years before I met him!) that he would occasionally speak Yiddush to me, was OK with this as I keep reminding him of the educational aspect of Hebrew School, my son is learning another language after all. My spouse did want him to have some Catholic education and I just said sure. Sometimes in a marriage you have to agree to things that you know will never happen. Game playing? Not at all!
I think that whatever you decide is great, because it’s what works for your family. My best friend is in the the same situation with Jewish and Catholic faiths. Their problem is the grandparents and great-grandparents all interfering. Everyone wants to “win”…..it’s sad…..it should be the couple’s decision.
I like that your son is able to celebrate both holidays i seen your posts over christmas, While I think religion is important (I was raised catholic, catholic school everything in england) I believe to have faith is better… Even though I am catholic I did learn about many other faiths and at the core i believe its all the same.
My kids are baptized but i think thats more to satisfy myself LOL,
As long as my kids grow to be wonderful, caring and thankful for this world then I am happy. I also believe its important that kids learn about many different reiligons after all ignorance plays a huge part in the worlds troubles today simply because we close our eyes.
You are right a little give and take is all we need.
Thanks for sharing your son’s religious journey. Glad it all worked out with the spouse in terms of how to raise your son regarding religion.
oh this is so complicated. love hearing your story and discussing– as you know we have similar issues. great post.
I think it’s great that you’re allowing him to embrace both.
I’m dying laughing at the six godparents. I’m Greek Orthodox and we’re big on godparents, too. Now, I wish I had had more godparents! It’s funny how most ethnic groups have the same issues.
Thanks so much for the post. My husband is Mormon and I am Catholic and unfortunately instead of really putting the time and effort in and coming to an agreement, things went by the wayside… still no decision and two of our kids are adults.
It’s great knowing some people still put religon in our childrens’ lives.
you could start by epomlying two Swiss Guards – those guys travel a bit more easily!josef
Those are pttery good tell signs that something is going on. I am looking for more info on how to find the secretive behavior online. I know there are lots of software that can track online activity, but I don’t know which one is best.
Hi, Great stuff here. I just wenatd to add to your exelent post that I think this is very good info and useful tips… thanks for sharing this! Congratulations
ny1AKo , [url=http://mncociydaxzm.com/]mncociydaxzm[/url], [link=http://cndathiqfeym.com/]cndathiqfeym[/link], http://utxhhqiemlhw.com/
thanks for sharing-sounds like a happy family 🙂
I so enjoyed reading about this. You have a way with words! All these considerations and things you & your spouse did are such signs of caring and love; and I can tell how you are such proud parents. I’m new to your site so I don’t know much about you Mitch but am learning. I am curious to know how much older your son is now. I wonder how he will combine (or not) the religious education he is receiving (or received?). So much potential there.