Do you know someone who wants to adopt a child?
I do not know if our story is typical, I do know 8 years later it is the biggest blessing we ever dreamed about. I am happy to help anyone interested in navigating through the process, it was not daunting as we thought it would be.
1. Try to join a support group in your area.
2. Consider an agency or foster care/foster adopt.
(Sign up with as many as you can afford.)
3. Interview adoption lawyers.
4. Interview social workers.
5. Referrals for any of the above are always helpful.
6. Do not be intimidated by the process, don’t give up!
How we did it:
1. Joined Wannabe dads/moms, a support group in NYC.
2. Got social worker referral through group.
3. Got lawyer referral from social worker.
4. Got adoption adviser through lawyer.
5. Took paperwork 1 step at a time, talk to people, network.
6. Pray. Pray often.
* Most people I know have had great success.
JUST DO IT!
We used a social worker for our follow-up visit after the baby was placed with us, I got her from the JCAA, http://www.jccany.org/.
You need a social worker before the adoption and after the placement.
The lawyer I retained was Stephen Lewin, an NYC adoption lawyer.
He was down to earth and very practical, there are some scams out there and when I got too excited, he kept me grounded and I recommend him.
I felt the charge I received when it was all over was more than fair, how may times do you hear that in relation to lawyers!
(It helped that, I am cheap and tried very hard not to bother the lawyer with a lot of stuff.)
Save your frequent flier miles. Our trip ended up being first class on American Airlines, this enabled us (8 years ago) to change our flight with no charge at the last minute, which we ended up needing to do when our c-section happened 13 days early.
We stayed at a golf resort in Phoenix, AZ. Off season the price was great and there was a washer/dryer in the apartment, something all new parents will find very useful!
The Legacy Golf Resort, http://www.legacygolfphoenix.com/.
I put this here as there are a lot of adoptions in Arizona. After we signed our papers in the small town where our son was born, we headed to Phoenix to be near the airport. Get out of town after the papers are signed! it will help your nerves and is just symbolic.
Our support group told us the success rate was 100%, many people in our group at the time are now proud parents and have been for many years.
May, 2003 we were present for the birth of our son. I was in the delivery room and the hospital put us in the parent room with him the first night. We were never apart from the second he was born. I know we were very lucky, and continue to be. I see no reason why anyone cannot have success. Again, I highly recommend prayer, that is what got me through the day to day angst, and it still does now that he is a savvy, New York, 8 year old tween!
JUST DO IT!