My dad is just recovering form stomach cancer. My Uncle passed away from it years ago when he was the age that I now am. We don’t know what causes it or why some of us get it and others don’t, but I do have my own 2 cents about what happens after you get it.
I am writing this down because I just passed my son’s old swim teacher. She had cancer and she beat it. It did take a big toll on her but throughout the process, at least from the outside view that I had, her attitude was incredibly positive. Well, at least not negative. This is important because all of us are touched by cancer at one time or another.
My best friend died 2 years ago this month. She was someone who did not have a college degree, she grew up in the neighborhood that my family escaped from years ago, and she was the classiest, brightest woman I had ever know. She was worldly, self educated in foreign languages, and far more intelligent than a lot of people I went to University with, including myself. She died of brain cancer.
It happened in 6 months time. The last time I saw her she was in a hospice and could no longer talk. But she was as beautiful as ever. And, in my opinion, she had given up from the start. Why me? That was her mantra. I believe that has a lot to do with recovery rates. And please remember I am no expert in anything.
I can tell you that I knew 2 young mothers with breast cancer. The common thread with these 2 women was their desire to deal with the situation and move on. I believe that this is the extra gift of having children. We do not come first, even in the selfishness of a deadly disease. Both of these women fought this thing because they had their lives to get on with, their children to raise.
My dad has grown children. So what is his story? My parents have seen some of their friends die from this, and some recover, and some live with disease of other natures. So when it happened to them, they were ready. It was all about showing up. It was all about dealing with whatever was in front of them to deal with, to move quickly through the path of whatever treatment was needed. It was never about, “Why Me?”
I am writing about this to share what I have seen and to be prepared for when it hits closer to home as it invariably will. Because whatever we are doing to our beloved planet and it’s atmosphere, we are all facing the increasing possibility of contracting something. Modern medicine has also come a long way, and even though it has farther to go, we all have to be able to show up for ourselves. Medicine alone cannot fight this battle. Our psychological condition is just as important.
My friend never had kids. She did not have that extra reason to fight. That is my belief. The 2 moms I knew, both with young kids, had a strong reason to fight, and fight they did. They are a great power of example. My parents saw my dad’s cancer as a challenge. They live with my brother and his kids. The next generation is what keeps us fighting! My dad had himself checked out very early. His brother did not. These are the things we need to think about in this day and age to survive, and survive we must!
I cannot tell you how close this hits for me. I am however glad to hear your dad is recovering. If you need anything please let me know…even if its a friend to just listen on a bad day.
My Dad will be cancer-free for 3 years in April. They whole long story is on my old blog. If I am ever strong enough I’ll move it to the new blog. It’s still hard to relive those days and to be grateful of the gift we’ve been given…I choose to look forward.
Wishing all the best for your dad. {Hugs}
Very touching, scary and so true…. your story brought tears to my eyes because I can relate so much to it, and attitude. My sister passed away from Ovarian Cancer and that how my journey led to creating Be Positive Mom. I’m not trying to promote my site with giving this link but the story is at http://bepositivemom.com/2010/10/whats-the-story-behind-be-positive-mom.html
Sending my thoughts, prayers and well wishes to you and your dad. Cancer changes us all but we have the power to determine how we face it and fight it… Big XXs and OOs to you!
I think too often we take our good health for granted. This is such an important reminder to be grateful for each day and each breath – to live life to the fullest and tell the ones we love how we feel.
Thank you for this, Mitch. ((hugs))
My father fought colon cancer for 6 years before succumbing 2 years ago. You are right about needing to have the desire & attitude to fight. I think my father had that at the beginning, but he also continued to drink and smoke, which eventually undermined the treatments. We have to take care of our bodies as well as our spirits.
I survived cancer, Hodgkin’s disease 32 years ago. I don’t know why I survived when many don’t. I’m thankful to be alive. Thank you for sharing your story, and I wish you and your family good health.
Very touching! I work in healthcare and sometimes it is incredibly difficult to keep from crying along with the families. Sometimes I think it may be ok to cry with them, but sometimes I fear families may view it as a lack of professionalism. Either way- us healthcare professionals do grieve for our patients as well. Best wishes always!