Last week I had the honor of participating in an emotional event highlighting abuse against women. I had the opportunity to interview several people participating in the event and will highlight those interviews in a bit.
What was most interesting to me is the lack of education that exists for our young people. I find myself already telling my 7 year old son,”No means No.” And while I am not saying it in the same way we teach teenage boys to accept a girls response to sexual pressure, it cannot hurt for him to hear that phrase now.
This experience was also all the more chilling to me as there was a story last week about a budding young NYC designer, Sylvie Cachay, who was killed, most likely by her boyfriend. This was the exact topic of the event from 2 days before this headline. Very eerie, and also very much highlights the fact that our society has to work harder on solving this issue.
How do we teach our young men to respect women more, and how do we instill more self esteem in our women? Thank goodness for programs like these to highlight the issues in this arena so our society can start to do a better job on this subject. Again, my interest is my 7 1/2 year old son. He is very handsome, he is one of the two biggest kids in his grade, he is an alpha male. How do I raise him to respect people, especially women? For me, I am thinking of the future. He has to always remember that he heard his dad telling him all through his childhood that it is unacceptable to hit a girl. And to have enough self confidence to not overreact in situations where his male ego is bruised.
My first interview was with Patrick Lynch, the Attorney General of Rhode Island. AG Lynch is committed to advancing the momentum to establish dating violence education in every state in the nation. Rhode Island passed a law in 2007 thanks to Mr. Lynch that mandates that dating violence education be incorporated into the existing health education curriculum, for middle and high school students, in each school district in the state. It further mandates a zero tolerance policy to respond to dating violence issues that take place at school or on school grounds.
Seems like common sense to me, except we are still working to get this type of policy passed in all of our 50 states. Currently only 13 states have this policy.
My next interview was with Bill & Michele Mitchell, parents of Krisitin Mitchell, who was murdered by her boyfriend shortly after she graduated college in 2005. That these 2 people have the courage to talk about this subject is amazing to me. It is fantastic that they want to help prevent what happened to their daughter from happening to other daughters. For me losing a child has to be the saddest event to have to go through in one’s life. Because there are classic signs to the behaviors that cause dating violence, education is key. Getting the message out is key. Their daughter didn’t know that extremely controlling behavior is a classic warning sign of potential dating violence. Again, I admire the courage of these 2 parents, they have to think about this event all throughout their work as they try to help other young people in America. Not everyone is strong enough to make the choice they made to help save other lives. I applaud them. For more info see Kristin’s Krusade.
The next person I had the pleasure of talking to was Rose Kirk, VP Public Affairs, Policy & Communications for Verizon. Turns out Verizon has developed a focused approach to raise awareness about domestic violence and leverage technology to provide immediate assistance and ongoing support for domestic violence victims. With tens of thousands of employees, they have started within their own company to provide outreach for folks who need it.
Verizon partnered with Liz Clairborne Inc. to screen Telling Amy’s Story as a kick off to It’s Time To Talk Day. Telling Amy’s Story is a national documentary depicting the life and death of Amy Homan McGee, a victim of domestic violence. Verizon also funded the documentary.
The last person I got to speak to was Neil Irvin, the Executive Director of “Men Can Stop Rape.” This organization works hard to mobilize men in the primary prevention of men’s violence against women. They have a youth development program called the Men of Strength Club. teaching men that the portrayal of masculinity we have grown up with doesn’t have to rule our lives if we are open to accepting that men can have feelings and don’t have to subvert those, to help prevent creating violent tendencies that later become hard to control. For more info click here.
“It’s Time to Talk Day is a day dedicated to ensuring that Americans speak-up about a subject that most people simply prefer not to discuss – domestic violence. Liz Claiborne Inc. has organized It’s Time to talk Day for the past 7 years to draw attention to the importance of talking about domestic violence, teen dating violence and intimate partner abuse.”
I am grateful I was invited to be a part of this event and I encourage everyone to take some time and think about this subject and be more aware in your daily life to see where we can all help in our community.
For more information visit Love Is Not Abuse.
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Disclosure: I wrote this post after attending an informational media event on behalf of Liz Claiborne and Dad Central Consulting and received a gift bag and gift card as a thank you for taking the time to participate.
Yakini @ThePrissyMommy says
Such an awesome post. Thanks for sharing this very important message. I agree, we have a huge job when it comes to our kids, and raising them with the right values, especially our boys!
Karen says
I really like how you are thinking about this with your son now.