This is turning into one of the most difficult parts of my job. He wants what he wants when he wants it. And he does not let up. My favorite line, instant gratification is not quick enough, applies to my son.
We promised him a Wii for good behavior at camp this summer. He has done a great job, but you can just imagine how last year must have been: there were times we did not think they would ask us back. We are all doing a lot of work, and my son is doing beautifully, and we constantly tell him so. I am always telling him how proud his 2 dads are of him. He seems to appreciate it, as much as you can tell from the reactions (or lack thereof) of a 7 year old boy.
The deal is he earns 3 chips at camp (that’s another story) and he gets to use his Wii for 1 hour during camp season. Yesterday he only got 2 chips. He asked 12 times and seems to not hear when I say no. I try very hard to stay strong as I know otherwise I am lost. I did have to take into account that for week 7 and 8 at camp, 3 of his 4 counselors were gone and 2 groups were combined for the last 2 weeks. That is a transition for my son, and I did make the snap decision that I would agree to his 2nd tier deal (yes, on the walk back from the camp bus stop, he is making deals with me) which was 30 minutes. I made it very clear that this was a one shot deal. Ha, now I have to stick to that.
To give you some background, my former career was as a fundraiser/telemarketer which we decided to call telefundraising. I was pretty good and I became the manager and had a small and excellent staff. My best fundraiser/salesman, reminds me now of my son. He physically could not hear/process the word “NO.” This makes for a fantastic salesperson. This makes for a difficult parenting job.
The toughest form of discipline in my current repertoire is raising my voice. This has the severest effect on my son, so I try not to do it very often, it upsets me as well. Sometimes you can not help it, I just cannot allow him to ask the same question 22 times in a row. Last week this was the only tool I had. He asked for something 22 times and I told him when we got home I would yell. He stopped. I did not yell. It does get frustrating, how many of you out there have natural born salespeople living in your house? How many of you have a child that not only doesn’t take NO for an answer, seems to not even hear the word?
Please leave a comment and tell me what you do!
There is no one easier to sell than a salesman, and that is what your son is learning to do. Testing Dad and authority in general is a natural stage of development and should only last another 33 years or so 😉
Give him a pocket writing pad and a pen, and have him write down your response the first time he asks. Have him refer to his notes each additional time he asks. This is a way of “carving it in stone” and is quite effective with one of our staff members’ 9-year-old Little Brother.
Cheers, and good luck.
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Isn’t it kind of funny, a lot of the skills and talents we want our kids to have, we’d rather them not have when they’re young. Maybe the could just spontaneously develop them at 18. My daughter (3) is very smart and very persistent, she get into everything and never stops talking. Sometimes I wish she was just a little less bright, It’d be fine to be a late bloomer, lol.