Blogging

I started this blog because I felt it was a way for me to finally put in print how I felt about adopting a child.

It had been suggested to me to write a book, this may be the beginning of that process. Or it may just be a way for me to communicate my feelings to my son when he is old enough to read and understand this.

I also wanted to communicate to those parts of America that do not realize that gay people are just as fit to be parents as straight people. That has become a strong part of my continuing message, and while the adoption story is almost complete, the saga will continue.

I live in NYC, a huge urban area in America. A lot of people I know do not even realize that gay people do not have equal rights in America and can’t get married. Yes, for me it is about equal rights, similar to the way that many states had laws outlawing marriage between black and white people until the mid 1960’s.

I try to write my story in a way that everyone can relate too. We really are just like every other married couple in America (at least 98%), parents trying to raise a child the best way they know how.

I get outraged when I read that there are people in America who preach that children should be raised by 2 parents, a man and a woman. They are complete liars. Do you know how I know? You never here them talk about passing laws against single parent adoption. You never hear them trying to pass laws against single women getting artificially inseminated. Those will be single parent homes, why do they exclude that from their arguments? I try to teach my son, Say What You Mean.

I also believe, if having children raised by a man and a woman is such a strong issue, then start screaming from the mountain tops that divorce should be illegal when there are children involved. Scream it if you really are talking only about your concern that children have these 2 parents at home. Divorce rips families apart, how is that OK? Why is that never the issue, that has more of a negative affect on America’s children than gay parenting.

I am with my spouse for 18 years and counting. Similar to straight marriages it is like a life sentence with no hope for parole. But how many other marriages have ended in divorce before they reached 18 years? Over 40%.

We adopted an infant. Just like any other family giving birth, except for the 9 month gestation period. And my belly did grow during that time! 7 years later I tell people we adopted and I still haven’t lost the weight. Please people, keep your sense of humor!

There is a secret out there that no one is telling you. Individual people rarely practice the prejudice that you read about in the newspapers. My son was born in the corner of Arizona that touches California and Mexico. Not a sprawling, hip urban area. The birth mother told the hospital staff that we were going to adopt the baby so do you know what the maternity staff did? 2 gay guys from NYC, fabulous Manhattan, were treated like new parents, like we had just given birth. We were put up in the hospital parenting room that very first night. Additionally, the staff could not have been more kind, caring, and helpful. I will always refer to them all as angels, because that’s what they were. After all, we were scared sh_tl_ss, neither of us had ever diapered anything!

Restaurant staff, airline attendants, neighbors we had never met, all treated us like gold, these poor guys who had to care for this baby all alone! We encountered no prejudice from people on an individual level. And why should we? Everyone responds to the miracle of a baby, we have only ever received great support and that is the message I want to send to Americans everywhere, we are just regular people who wanted to be parents and were lucky enough to have that dream fulfilled. That is the underlying message of the blog.

After I started the blog I discovered a lot of coupon blog sites and extended my info to include: my crazy shopping stories, how to save money, life in the greatest city in the world, and the continuing saga of child rearing that I believe ultimately, everyone can relate to. I hope I can reach parts of America so that they can read our story and see we are just like everyone else, for better or for worse.

Welcome!