Is that overly dramatic?
My son came out of school and said something to the effect that another boy told him he had to have a mother. It seemed odd to me but I immediately got on the defensive. My son has 2 dads and I am waiting for the day that he is bullied for that. Not that anyone really cares in New York City, which is why we choose to raise him here, but it seems that some kids just pick on other kids because that is their nature.
And, my son is big and tough. He is one of the largest kids in the 5th grade at his school, and a tough guy. We have worked for years on his inability to control himself physically so now he instead seems to hold in his feelings. Parent Lesson #1, you just can’t win no matter what you do!
I immediately jumped the gun and confronted the mom. Of course these are kids we know for years, these are not strangers. We happen to live in the middle of Manhattan in an area that is also an incredibly wonderful community. Everyone knows everyone and has for years. We see each other at playgrounds all over the neighborhood.
And the mom got defensive in return. But not defensive for her child, defensive for us! She said she only ever raised her kids with tolerance and was actually upset that her son would say anything negative in relation to a family with same sex parents. I was thrilled to hear that and smiled inside because this is exactly the type of extra tolerance I had hoped would surround my son in his youth.
Turns out that the other child told my son he had to have a mother because that is how babies are born. And he is right, but we call that person my son’s birth mother, he does not have a mom. My son got defensive because he misconstrued the statement/question from the other boy. This involved 2 boys so it naturally escalated beyond the initial simple statement into a ridiculous argument.
So we all overreacted to a simple and correct statement that just needed explaining to two 10 year old boys. And I fear I never did apologize for jumping the gun myself and not waiting for a full explanantion! Oh well.